Make time for the quiet moments, for God whispers and the world is loud.
I have this saying in a picture frame hanging in my kitchen. When I first saw it, it brought a lot of conviction -- I don't take enough time to sit still, much less quietly, with God. So, I bought it and hung it in a place that my eyes would find it everyday. By now, even though my eyes "see" it, it doesn't do much for my heart anymore. I just gloss right over it. That is until...
I got my new hearing aids.
Yes, I'm 32 and I've had a hearing loss pretty much all my life. My old hearing aids are 7 years old and are in rough shape. So, because we have great insurance, I was able to afford new ones. I brought them home yesterday and as soon as I shut my car door, I knew they needed to be adjusted -- everything was too loud. I nearly had a panic attack picking up my daughter at preschool -- babies crying, backpacks opening, kids laughing, teachers talking, parents whispering. I must have looked crazed. I think I actually felt my blood pressure rising -- I had to escape the chaos. The noise was too overwhelming. Even at home, the slightest scream that would escape my daughters' mouths would send me over the edge. SSHHHHHHHHHH!
I guess there is such a thing as hearing too well.
For some reason yesterday, my eyes didn't just gloss over the saying in the picture frame on the wall in my kitchen. God caught me for a moment. This how I get drowned out. The world is this loud. It can overwhelm your senses. It can fill you with chaos. It can make you panicked. There is no peace here.
Lately I have been totally absorbed by the world. Even in doing volunteer things for my church -- things that I have felt called to do, I am completely overwhelmed. I find myself easily irritated, upset over schedule changes, and people not always holding up their end of the bargain like I think they should. I find myself having to work in short spurts on anything because I'm juggling my job, my family, my volunteer commitments (it's taken me at least 4 times to write this blog post). Interruptions are everywhere -- the world barges in.
Yet, God knocks.
He stands at the door and waits for me to open it. If I would only let Him in, perhaps I would be able to deal with the world more gracefully instead of just plugging my ears or barreling ahead to the next project. Perhaps I would have a greater capacity for patience and love, for wisdom and godliness. Instead of looking at the clutter and mess in my life and throwing my hands up in despair, I could sit in peace and deal with things in God's timing instead of the world's. Instead of my own.
When I allow life to be overwhelming, I know I miss out on the little ways that God tries to catch my attention during the day. Sometimes I even miss the depth of the larger blessings because I have engaged all my emotional capacity toward negativity. Yesterday after I picked Hannah up from school, we were just riding in the car. All of the sudden, she says, Mommy! I just saw Grannie. I blew her a kiss. It was a glimpse of the child-like realm in which Jesus would like me to abide, at least for a few moments. A realm where I am readily able to see His hand, His work, and His love.
Where I can easily hear His whispers. And maybe blow a kiss or two...