If you read my post on Tuesday, you'd know that it already wasn't the greatest day. And then, Craig came home.
This is usually a highlight of the day. Of course, I am glad to see him -- he's my husband. But, he also happens to be the father of my children which means that when he is home, I can, for about 5 minutes at a time, flick on the "off-duty" light until the kids go to bed.
However, on Tuesday, he got out of his car, flung his computer bag over his shoulder, and winced. Something is going on with my back.
Honestly, I didn't have much sympathy. I should have felt more compassion, I'm sure, but I really didn't think much of it. Sometimes men can be, well, you know...
However, after he laid down on the floor and couldn't get back up an hour later, I started to wonder if maybe there was something to all this. Anyway, to make a long and boring story short, he went to the urgent care clinic (yes, we eventually got him off the floor and he was able crawl down the stairs thanks to a rather massive dose of Motrin) and he was diagnosed with a lumbar sprain.
Well, just to uncover all my selfish thoughts, as Craig had laid on the floor and I was downstairs helping the kids finish up their dinner (funny, during a crisis, kids still want to eat), the realization hit that Craig might be in some serious pain for a good amount of time. Which then meant that I would have to do all my jobs, plus the ones that he normally did. And since there was a legitimate excuse for this and not just dereliction of duty, I had to have a good attitude about picking up the slack. And this was still all happening on Tuesday, which was NOT a very good day already. So, as I was cleaning up the dishes, I threw up a prayer.
Oh, Lord, help me have a servant's heart.
And God said, Yes.
So from that point on, for the most part, I had a good attitude about him being out of commission. There were quite a few times when I didn't think twice about doing things that he normally does or grumble under my breath about the extra chores or duties. God helped me put my selfishness aside and give Craig the gift of rest so that he might heal more quickly.
Of course, all good things must come to an end.
By the end of the day today, I had a bit of a dip in the whole joyful servant thing. I had grown tired and was ready for a break. Another one-liner went up as dinner heated. Lord, Craig is getting better. I'm so close to having help again. Please help me finish well. The Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
Okay, that was four lines, but still.
The dip did not end up becoming all consuming. I didn't have to run and lock myself in my bedroom for quiet to come out of the funk. I still enjoyed dinner with my family and read books to the kids before they went to sleep. Now, I was putting them to bed at 6:45, but still...there was quality time involved here.
The whole reason I write this is because I am just astounded at how quickly and how fully God can answer my prayers. Right there at the kitchen sink, I truly surrendered my objectives, my needs, and my agenda and asked for Him to make up for my weakness, to give me that which I lack, to fill me with His Spirit instead of relying on my own willpower. Reflecting back on all that has happened the last few days, I feel slightly exhilarated -- This is what it feels like to pray in God's will. This is what it feels like to ask and then receive. This is what it feels like to truly surrender and lay myself at His mercy. It is encouraging to me that in the midst of my selfish thoughts, I could throw up a one-liner (or 4) and that God would hone in on that instead of making me feel guilty for all those other negative thoughts I had. It reiterates to me the truth -- that the Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me!
Oh, and I'm linking up with Caffeinated Randomness at Andrea's blog. Click the link to visit!http://www.undergraceovercoffee.com/