Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Light through the Slats
I can’t open the blinds in my bedroom until my bed is made. I don’t want the world to see my mess. This is actually a ludicrous thought, as the room is on the second story.
So perhaps, I choose not to let in the light because I know that it will make me deal with the rumpledness sooner than if I just left it in the darkness.
Some days, I choose to leave my room in disarray and shut out the light. Some days, I crave the light, so I deal with my disorder, one layer at a time.
It’s the same in my spiritual life. Living my life out loud on this blog has forced me to see my mess. Writing has uncovered a lot of darkness in my mired heart. It's not easy to admit my shortcomings, but to write about only the roses doesn't make for such an interesting read. There you go -- another ulterior motive revealed. I write about my failings to gain readership. Have mercy on me, please.
It is fabulous, though, how God can use what I offer, whatever the reason, to pierce through the sin, the ugly places that reside in me. As I write, I see what God is teaching me, and lest I become a hypocrite, I try to absorb it, understand it, and put it into practice. To invite this light in, even small rays from the slats of blinds, invites God to take up residence in me, pushing more of the darkness out.
Posted by Jen Ferguson at Tuesday, August 24, 2010