I'm having surgery tomorrow. It's nothing major, but they have to put me out and I won't be moving quickly for about a week.
Needless to say, I'm a little anxious -- not really about my surgery, but about my to-do list. I'm the type of person who has a really hard time relaxing when there are things hanging over my head. When my husband or my kids get in my way when I am trying to get things done, I can get, um, a little testy. When I fear something is not going to get done on time, I am snippy, stressed, and quick-tempered.
This morning in the wee hours (that's 6am for me, folks -- I like my sleep), I talked to God about what I needed to get done today and my desire to spend quality time with the kids (they are a little anxious about my surgery). The response I got was, well, a bit shocking. The conversation went somewhat like this:
Me: How am I going to get everything done until this forced rest time? Can you tamp down this anxiety I feel about accomplishing everything and being able to spend time with the kids today?
God: You are not going to accomplish your to-do list today. You are going to accomplish my to-be list today.
Me: Whaaaat? You pick today for this? Do you realize...??
[Side note: Lately, God has been teaching me that my to-do list is less important than my to-be list. I had found myself always seeking God for the answers on what to do and He kept coming back with answers about how to be. Obviously, I thought He must have misheard the question, so I kept asking over. And over. His reply was always the same--
Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. Romans 12: 12-13]
So today, I'm going to try this new list. I am going to work only during the kids' rest time. What gets done, gets done -- I'll let God show me what takes highest priority. When the kids need something, I will respond and open my heart and arms to them. I will remain steadfast in my prayers and rejoice in the promises that He has given me.
The above list looks wwwaaaayyy more daunting than my actual to-do list. But, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, right? Right.
Oh, and my daughter just read this over my shoulder. She said, So, Mommy, whenever I need anything today, I can ask and you'll respond? Man, it's gonna be a long day.