Does it still smell like her? If I close my eyes, could I still see her sitting behind the wheel?
Due to the time it takes to get a title transferred from another state and an estate to finally close, my brother had not been able to actually drive the car until recently, even though he's had it since April. So, really, it was quite the shock to see it sitting there even though I knew he'd been driving it.
What would it be like to run my hands over the steering wheel? To touch the radio dial, to find some classical music that would have been pleasure upon her ears? To look in the rear-view mirror and see...myself?
Today, I saw yesterday's mail laying on the table. So busy and tired last night, I had not even noticed that Craig had brought it in. A letter lay atop the magazines and other junk. A small envelope with a stamp. Hand-addressed with a return address label. A real letter!
I took it to the couch and opened it. It was from my Aunt Inez, my grandmother's older sister, the one that loves to write letters and talk on the phone. The one that I should have been better about writing, about calling, but haven't been. Guilt. She filled me on the latest news, some which I had heard and some which I hadn't. I realized I would have known all of it if my grandmother was still alive. So easy to keep up with the family when she was here. I took it for granted.
Her parting words to me, Still miss my little sister, and I know you miss your Grannie. Find it so hard to believe that she's not down the street.
|Grannie, Aunt Dint, Aunt Inez (Hear no evil, See no evil, Speak no evil)|