Monday, January 10, 2011

Neatly Packaged & Soli Deo Gloria Link-up

Photo credit JCasa

I like to take care of people.
I don't like to burden others with my problems.
I rarely do anything that doesn't have a purpose.
I try not to be too emotional.
I try to keep things in perspective.
I'm terrified of doing the wrong thing.
I've been really focused on keeping things together.  Operating so that I can be productive, efficient, tamped down.

I re-read these words and I imagine a box, so overstuffed that at any moment it might explode.  But there is something under all that purpose, organization, and compartmentalization that is trying to get out.   Things will get...

Messy.
Unorganized.
Chaotic.
Emotional.
Out of place.

...if it bursts.

I don't do any of those things well.  I rationalize to keep from being too emotional.  I explain away things that don't fit.  I run a tight ship.  To ask me to function when things are out of place -- I get nervous, jittery, overwhelmed with feeling out of control.

But I have this vague sense that there might be a hint of freedom that could possibly come if the box bursts open.  In this neatly packaged life, I think I've buried some lies and God wants to bring me some truth.  But to replace the lies with truth means a lot of unpacking.  Life doesn't always unfold the way we think it should and I don't like surprises.

But I also don't like things such as...

Guilt.
Perfectionism.
Scales.
Pretending.
Denial.

I think I've spent the last few years wrapping string upon string around this box and God is standing next to it with a pair of scissors.

Can I let Him cut the strings?

15 comments :

  1. He is the best, at cutting string and unpacking boxes. It is hard(I speak as one who has empty boxes and ones that are still tightly tied!) but oh the freedom and love that happens when we let Him!!

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  2. freedom from lies is a glorious, glorious place to be. but you don't have to let it all burst out like an explosion. jesus can help you with one.thing.at.a.time. i know this from experience.

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  3. what Amy said, could you put it into words better? I DON'T THINK SO! I am so there...

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  4. Cut the strings and see what God is capable of doing in you. I often feel like the woman with holes in me that I filled with many things, not God. We (God and I) are slowly emptying those spaces and filling them with Him and His truths, grace and peace.

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  5. As I read this all I could think sweet Jen is that maybe this is your year for freedom too. Too allow God to cut those strings and to deal with what comes and what He teaches you from it. I think He will do amazing things...

    Your heart is beautiful my friend. <3

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  6. Wow, I read this and thought, it sounds so familiar. I prefer neatly packaged at all times, too. Bless you as you try to be brave, and move forward. God with scissors - it still means that He is in charge and in the end, it will be okay.

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  7. What a beautiful analogy. We try so hard to keep everything contained in a nice little box and God is so trying grow us beyond our neat and tidy world. Thanks for this.
    PS. I am new at this linking up thing? Is is open for everyone??

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  8. Neatly packaged--great metaphor. I keep trying to keep life contained within spreadsheets. How well do you think that keeps working out for me?

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  9. It's always hard to let God open that neatly tied box, but if we allow Him to, He promises to fill us with things unimaginable. Things we never expected wait for us to let God open that box and fill it with His treasures for you. This was a beautiful reminder for me, thank you!

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  10. I can't wait for the mess! I will sit with you in it. I will sift through it with you, cry with you, laugh with you. This will be GOOD. Let's do it, friend; let Him in!!!!

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  11. Check, check and check! I can relate to ALL of those, Jen. It's a blessing and a curse.

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  12. This is why I'm fighting this year...in some ways I think that I allow the mess and brim over frustration (just ask my hubby) but I didn't want this transition and to have chaos be the practical seen this year...so that is why it's also so good and a blessing of a season...and you are right about the 'freedom'...it's more than a touch--it's glorious--and worth all of the journey:)

    Thanks for being open and vulnerable...you can cross out pretending and denial;)

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  13. Yes, you can. Have you ever seen one of those artists who can use a pair of scissors to cut out a silhouette of a person from a square of black paper? This is how God works - He will reveal your true self when you give Him the scissors.

    And guess what? You are beautiful now but when He makes you reach deeper into that box and mix them up a bit? Wow.

    Blessings, dear one. Congratulations for having the courage to admit that you want to go deeper.

    Natalie at Mommy on Fire
    http://www.mommyonfire.com

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