Monday, January 31, 2011

An Unexpected Answer & Soli Deo Gloria Party


Welcome, Soli Deo Gloria Sisters!  I'm so glad to see your faces and meet some new ones as well.  This is a place of encouragement and blessing, and it is my prayer that you always feel welcome here.  If you are new (anyone is welcome), please read here for the heart behind this meme and some general guidelines (the button is to your right).  I hope you are blessed on your page and leave blessings for others, as well.

Photo courtesy of Stock.Xchng
Have you ever asked a question, but when the answer came, you kinda wish you hadn't asked in the first place?

I've been asking God if it was okay to dream, to imagine what the future might hold for me as far as ministry outside my family.  The reason I felt like I needed to ask permission is mainly because I've struggled with pride, obsessive planning, and not living in the present.  I was fearful that if I looked beyond the five feet in front of me, I would start to fall back into those pits.

Just between you and me, I think I've always known what God wanted me to do, but He has had to do a lot of housecleaning to get me ready for it.  I had aspirations, you see, and those aspirations focused on what I could get out this calling.  I could see the side benefits for God, you know, and for His people, but really, to be truly honest, living out said calling was just for my own glorification.  It was about how I could be worthy.  How I could be the best.  How I could be known.

How did I know, deep down, what He was calling me to do?  Because I have had moments, instances few and far between (specific to this calling), when God whooshed through me, worked through me, and brought in His glory for His people.  In those happenings, I knew that I had become simply a vessel, that in His power He could knock my SELF aside, and show me what He could do through me.

Driving home after taking Hannah to preschool on Thursday, God gave me His vision for my life, or at least the part that I am to know now.  And even though I think I suspected it all the while, it still came as a shock.  The thought of it scares me to death.  Even as I type these words, my knees get weak.  It is a calling that is totally outside of my comfort zone.  It is a calling that is 100% reliant upon Jesus.  It is a calling that requires a daily prayer of Less of me, more of You, Lord.

For the next few SDG posts, I’m going to write more of this story – the confirmations I’ve received, the practical steps that I’m taking to live into this calling.  Hopefully, you will stay tuned and walk this journey with me (I hope, I hope, I hope) because I’d sure love your encouragement and your friendship.

What?  What was that?  Oh, you want to know what He’s called me to do?  You expect me to actually type out those words?  Do you know how much more real that will make this if y’all know?

Fine.

He’s called me to speak.  Like in front of people.  Goodness me.


24 comments :

  1. Well, this does not surprise me one bit. I bet you can speak as well as you write. Just continue to seek His face and follow His leading and it will all come together perfectly in His time. You have a lifetime ahead of you and I pray the Lord will bless you abundantly as you follow his call on your life. Sweet blessings to you!

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  2. I think that is wonderful! Isn't it funny how when He calls us to speak it is a lot harder to swallow than Him calling us to be moms? Or preschool teachers? :P When you talked about your agenda getting in the way, I totally got what you meant. That can be a stumbling block for me, too. I think once we begin to acknowledge that He can really get busy in our lives - I am so, so, SO excited for you!!!

    (also, I think it's funny just how much alike I am learning we are. We could practically be twins! Except I am pretty sure you are younger than me, which would have been very horrible in terms of labour for our poor mother.... haha!)

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  3. woo hoo! praying peace for you.

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  4. Jen,
    I am beyond excited for you. I know we've never officially met (yet!), but your words are gifts to all who know you, and it is pretty obvious to the rest of us that you will be using them in big ways.

    Speaking? Can't wait.

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  5. Ah, Jen. I love speaking . . . it brings me such joy. For me, the Lord provided some great mentors when I first started. Especially in how to craft a talk and then prepare to give it. I bet there are some wonderful women around you that would love to help. You already have the skills, from your writing and it is just a tweek to move on to speaking . . . oh except for that in. front. of. people. part.

    If I can help in any way, let me know. I only speak 3 or 4 times a year, but I have learned a few things.

    Fondly,
    Glenda

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  6. aww...at first i thought you were going to keep us hanging and i was guessing...but didn't guess right! Wonderful...and i relate to all of it specific to this calling...oh, sister, we are alike! All of the same inner heart stuff and fearful that it will be me and not Him...I definitely need more confirmation and with what we do...i'm praying/believing it will find me if it's right.

    well, ENOUGH about me, beyond excited for you to share more in these weeks! story! i love that you'll be sharing it on Tuesdays:) i won't feel so alone in what i've been doing and it will just be amazing to hear in its own rite!

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  7. Speaking is definitely different than writing, scarier, but I think that as long as you share from the heart like you do here, you will be fine!

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  8. I'm so glad you wrote about this again this week because I was late to the party last week and didn't get to comment. I say, Dream! And I love that you got confirmation. Can't wait to hear more of the story.

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  9. I am so excited for you and this journey He has for you. I cannot wait to hear more and to see what beautiful things He does in you and through you.

    <3

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  10. Obsessive planning and not living in the present? That sounds like me!!

    Jen, this is very exciting!! You know, God's plans for you were formed long ago, and when He knit you together in your mama's womb, He put you together in such a way that you would be equipped for exactly what His plan was to be. So girl, all you need to do is keep listening to Him, and go when He says go, and He'll do the rest.

    Can't wait to hear more!!

    :)Erin

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  11. Oh exciting! Can't wait to join you on this journey of prayer and processing!

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  12. Oh, girl. I completely sympathize. Public speaking terrifies me, and getting over that is actually on my prayer list right now! I used to do it with ease, but then I became a lawyer who was required to stand up and speak in court and whoa, nelly. Gone. I no longer have to do that, but I still struggle with standing up in front of others and speaking. Funny thing - God is providing me with little opportunities to practice here and there. He's sneaky! :) So I'll be praying for you too. I know you can do it!

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  13. Boy, I sure understand about doubting your own motives, wondering whether you are putting yourself forward, and such! The others are right... if you focus on following and obeying, I believe the Lord will work on your heart as needed. Looking forward to more of the journey!
    Love you!!

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  14. Jen, first of all, congrats on your courage to stop and listen. Second of all? Yes, I'm called to speak in front of people, too. :) We were both teachers, we both follow Him...I'm sure there are other similarities in our prep work...:)

    Would love for you to consider going to "She Speaks" by Proverbs 31 this summer. There is a speaker track and a writer track...I'm doing the writing track this summer and the speaker track perhaps next.

    I will walk with you. Encouragement and friendship is all yours, my friend.

    I'm excited to watch you through this journey. You are a beautiful soul.

    Natalie at Mommy on Fire
    http://www.mommyonfire.com

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  15. I know I would come hear you speak. The Lord has definitely put something in that heart and tongue of yours for others to hear. Way to be obedient.

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  16. Such a good post! WOW! I love reading your stuff and have been so challenged by you. In fact, because of your previous 30 days of giving up yelling I was challenged to do the same for February and have gotten some friends to join me. I blogged about it today.http://wp.me/pTXHK-cU
    I just wanted to say thank-you so much for being yourself and showing off your journey with God in this blog. Blessings! ~Jessica

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  17. From my journal writing this morning:

    "Thank you for Jen's vision and obedience. I love that girl."

    And I do, friend, I do.

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  18. I look forward to reading the rest of the story! :)
    He's going to do great things through you

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  19. I enjoyed reading this! Just stumbled on your blog through SITS.

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  20. Oh what a fun God we serve. He knows all so there's no doubt that what He called you to He already knows you can do it. I'll enjoy following your journey to God's will.

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  21. You are amazing with your words, and to go and share that with people is such a blessing. I know that since I have joined, every single post you have done has spoken directly to me and blessed me tremendously!

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  22. I am just popping back in, Jen, to say, how exciting to have so many responding to your link. I love reading these.

    Fondly,
    Glenda

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  23. But Jen, you were a teacher. You can speak in front of people. You spoke in front of our Bible Study group for 4 years! I've seen you speak in front of people numerous times, and you're great! Why are you scared? You have the words, so why not share them? You know I'm here to follow you, even if I don't get to link up every week. :) I'll listen too!

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  24. Just as so many have said, you do speak all the time. Now, you get to use your voice.

    There have been times that God has told me I would speak (more for specific seasons, though I wouldn't discount there being more) and this is what He gave me to encourage me:

    “O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, In the secret places of the cliff, Let me see your face, Let me hear your voice; For your voice is sweet, And your face is lovely.” Song 2:14

    I hope it whispers boldness to your heart as well.

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