Monday, April 11, 2011

Trust & Soli Deo Gloria

Photo source here
Last Tuesday night, I had this glaring thought:

I don't trust anybody.  Not fully and completely, at least.

This revelation just broke my heart.  I don't want to walk around assuming people will fail me.  I don't want to always envision this worst-case scenario.  I don't want to have a shadow of negativity and disbelief looming over me.

I want to be a glass half-full kinda gal.  I want to be optimistic and non-controlling and free.

And yet, I am a realist.  People will always fail.  That is their nature.  That is my nature.  As hard as I try to do my best, I will still fail.  Things will slip through the cracks, my anger will get the best of me, I will say the wrong thing at the wrong time.  So, if I know this about me and I know this about human nature in general, how can I choose to trust?

As I offered this question up to God, He simply said:

Trust Me.

I noticed that if people gave me a verbal commitment to support me financially for this conference, I wouldn't truly believe them until the money was in hand or called in.  Because really, what if they forgot?  What if they changed their mind?  What if their house fell down or they lost their job or their cat needed emergency surgery?  The bottom line, in my twisted way of thinking, was this:  What if they make a promise, don't follow through, and then I don't get to go?

Eeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkk.  Wait, what?  Because who runs this show?  Is it me?  Is it them?  Or is it God?

Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save.  

Psalm 146:3


Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  

Proverbs 3:5

People can come up short, but God delivers.
When people fail me, God picks up the slack.
When they hurt me, God heals.
When I mess up, God forgives.
When they forget, God remembers.
When we get off track, God redirects.

Through this revelation and process, waves of peace and restoration have washed over me.  I can walk in so much more freedom now and have much more emotional energy left to concentrate on things that God has entrusted me to do -- like praying for you as your sweet faces appear on my blog for Soli Deo Gloria.  Let's get the party started!

oh, and FYI...She Speaks is almost sold out, so if you are wanting to go, you probably need to register  now.

**Photobucket is having some issues, so if you visit a blog that looks seriously messed up, please check back again later.

21 comments :

  1. this trust issue I know well and just today when I went for my walk...He spoke much the same..I cannot force you to trust me but I am here ... waiting to show you love and so much more. He CANNOT fail us....I will continue to pray with you. Father, I ask that you establish Jen's heart that she will never be shaken. Create in her a hunger and thirst for You and your righteousness and revive her in Your ways...love you friend...He's trustworthy:)
    xo

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  2. after my nephew died, i didn't think i could even trust god....better now. but it was hard.

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  3. Oh Jen, I know trust is so hard. I pray for grace upon both of us to trust Him more and more every day. Honestly, He has never failed us, His timing may feel that way at times, but He has never failed us, never will. I pray our hearts (because I struggle with trust as well) will settle here in Him, with trust that surpasses all understanding.

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  4. My first thought.... I am so glad I am not alone in that trust thing. Seriously I do the same exact thing. I question. I fret. I know a big part of my trust issues are about control. But another part is fear of hurt. I pray that He shows you in a big way that you can always trust Him and know He has the very best for you. <3

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  5. It would be great to listen to all the wonderful songs about trust, Jen. I wonder if they are all collected somewhere.

    Fondly,
    Glenda

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  6. I think you have really high expectations--maybe impossible, even. Mostly I see this in the expectations you have of yourself but I imagine this seeps into your expectations for others as well. And maybe God. I don't know.

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  7. Our sight is so limited, we see only moments that keep slipping through our hands.

    If we can just look up, GOD sees it all through His eternal Agape love...the love that gives us what we need as He perceives it, not always what we want.

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  8. Yes, so worthy of our trust is He!!! So able to accomplish is He!!!

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  9. Oh, Jen, how very easily I agree with this...though I don't want to! HE alone is worthy of our trust and He alone is what we need... great reminder today!

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  10. Thanks for your encouragement Jen...love your blog and your beautiful heart. It is so nice to be a part of a great company of girls :)

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  11. You speak for me in many ways, Jen. I guess the hard thing about trust is that whole "evidence of things UNSEEN" business, sort of an oxymoron from our perspective.
    Love you!

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  12. "Trust Me" I love these words.

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  13. Love this! Such ongoing training for our race! Have you read Bo's Cafe? It helped me in tremendous ways regarding trust/shame cycle.

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  14. Control freak ism...It shall be my life long sorrow. Well, I hope not...I hope to have times of restoration and revelation like what you shared today. From one freak to another...it's painful aint it?

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  15. I have HUGE trust issues. It's painful sometimes, yes. Love those verses!

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  16. I think all of us have "trust issues" to some extent. But, He's proven to me over and over that it's the only way and He is always more than enough. Blessings and Joy to you!

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  17. I love you, sweetie, and I understand what you are saying here. It's so much easier to trust in hind sight, isn't it? I'm so happy to be linking up tonight! You always bless me, Jen. What a wonderful shepherd you are of this community. Blessings to you!

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  18. Jen, this trust thing - wow, it takes so many forms. Do I really trust God with my children? Huh?? And yet...I live like I don't. Trust Him with my children, that is.

    Do I trust God to be His Word? Huh?? Well, I sure don't live it...

    Such a hard thing. To trust. Anyone, anything. God included.
    - Teri @ StumblingAroundInTheLight

    PS - missed the linky - Wed is kinda my writing day - so here it is -
    http://freeagentmommy.typepad.com/blog/2011/04/spending-time.html

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  19. Why do I feel so often when I read your story that you are writing part of mine? WOW...I totally get the no trusting thing. Maybe your words today have opened a new crack in me. Thank you. ~Jessica

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  20. I appreciate all the work that everyone puts into their blogging. I feel like I need to apologize for not getting to all the blog sites. I have Adult Attention Deficit & Hyperactivity Disorder and have a very hard time reading a lot of postings. That is why mine are so short, I don't have the attention span to read long blogs especially on sites that have a lot of visual content. I can't filter the information as the simulation is too intense and I get easily overwhelmed. But thanks for letting me join in.

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