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Last week, I was talking about choosing to employ the practice of rest even when your to-do list and calendar tells you that it is all but impossible.
It sounds good in theory, yes?
The truth is, even though I had breaths of rest, by Friday I was at the end of myself. I yelled at my kids for minor infractions while we were watching the recorded Royal Wedding. I mean, who yells at the kids when two people as cute as Kate and William are tying the knot? The truth is, I had such limited self-control because the scheduling, planning, preparing had completely consumed me. The wave crashed down and I could not get up for air. I could not drink enough of Him in to counteract everything that was exhaled out of me.
And even though last week was atypical, the truth is I have felt the tension of a divided heart for a month or so. My heart and time have been divvied up between my paying job and pursuing my calling. As much as I love planning curriculum for preschoolers and being involved in Christian Education for all ages, my heart's desire is to step back up into women's ministry through all sorts of venues: this blog, my church, and (God willing) speaking engagements. And so...
I quit my job, effective July 31.
I am going to be honest -- it is a step of faith. I don't know how God is going to make up the difference financially. I don't have any speaking engagements on the books. I don't even have the curriculum planned out for the class I am going to be teaching at St. Luke's (pending priest approval, of course). But this I know:
God is bigger than any financial hurdle.
He has called me into women's ministry.
He doesn't want me yelling at my kids so much.
It took finding the end of me to realize the fullness of this new beginning.
Here's to steppin' out, friends. So glad I have people like you stepping with me.
Go out and enjoy some fruit by visiting these sweet friends: