Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Day 11: Expectations

Jen Final
My husband told me last year that my birthday, Mother's Day, and Christmas all gave him anxiety.  Why?  Because he was afraid that what he did wouldn't measure up to my expectations.

Of course, I felt horrible at this revelation and vowed to change.  I don't want my expectations of what I think should happen get in the way of seeing the beauty of what does happen.

Today, I wonder if sometimes my expectations get in the way of hearing God.  Perhaps I have preconceived notions of how He will speak, what He will say, or when He will say it.  If I am focused on the form I believe it should come in, do I run the risk of missing the message altogether?  Do I give Him ultimatums and then tune Him out if He doesn't respond on my timetable?  Do I expect grand revelations and so I dismiss the still, quiet Voice?

Challenge:  Be honest with God about the expectations you have of Him and how He will speak.  Allow yourself to be moldable, releasing your hard and fast expectations so that you might see new ways in which He is working in your life.  Is there something you need to surrender?

oh, one more thing!  I'm guest posting at Deidra's Jumping Tandem today.  It's all about how Soli Deo Gloria was born...and a bit more.  Will you come stop by?  Click here to read!


  1. I remember somewhere reading that expectations kill relationships...maybe Ann V? anyway..I've been thinking about mine lately as well. When I get angry is is because I expected something and it didn't turn out my way? Good stuff Jen
    love ya

  2. I mostly miss it when I know what I WANT him to say so when He says something else I have a hard time accepting it is him speaking. My husband is a good sounding board for me on this. Challenge accepted.

  3. JEN!!!(I write that in capitol as if I am YELLING) not at you but like, "oh my gosh, this is exactly been what is on my mind the past few days!" I just had a huge conversation with my Mom and Sister about how expectation always brings diappointment.It is not fair to the other person with whom you have the expectation on as well, because as Tiffini said above it will kill relationship. So, I'm done being THAT EXCITED! Have a great day....Marlece

  4. Hilarious. I woke up thinking that I wanted to ask you to write a post entitled: "what happens when God doesn't speak". You basically addressed it above! Cool!

    And for the record, I have had that same conversation with Justin. Our poor husbands and their type-A women! :) Love ya.

  5. Beautiful...I had to realize that my frustration with birthdays was that my expectations were never met. I didn't feel they were high, but if I didn't have them, I wouldn't have felt let down.

    Beautiful thoughts today, thank you.

  6. That's a great way of thinking of it.

    I sure hope my preconceived ideas of how God will react don't affect me hearing Him, but I'm sure it does.

    Willing to change.

  7. Hi Jen
    I found your blog on faithful bloggers. I like what you have to say so I'll be following. God bless. Tracy

  8. Wow, that's weird because my 31 Day post today was "Set Expectations." Hmmmm. Wonder what God's saying about that?? :)

  9. What great thoughts. Oh how often I need to place my human expectations next to God, who He is and what He wants to do.

    Great reminder to pursue and expect what He wants!

    By the way, I'm really enjoying this series you are doing!

  10. Allowing myself to be moldable is so hard, especially when I always think that I know best!

  11. Thanks for hanging out over at my place today - right in the middle of hosting a cool series here at yours! I'm grateful for the community you're growing here. Thank you. For everything...

  12. God spoke through my husband, and now I need to surrender an opportunity that sounded pretty good to me. I had nagging doubts anyway, but kept ignoring them... hoping they would go away. I feel disappointed but peaceful.

  13. I think I would like to either caveat or possibly adapt the premise. I don't believe that expectations are necessarily bad. I expect my children to behave and obey when I speak, I expect for my husband to love me and be devoted to me alone.

    What is possibly negative about expectations are that we generally don't verbalize them for other people to understand. It is much easier for my husband and children to reach a given goal when it is spelled out for them. I am a type-A person and verbalizing things seems to work well for anyone having to 'deal with me' ;-)

    I love the fact that God has 'verbalized' His expectations for us, His children, in the Word. My hubby pointed this out to me when we were discussing my Worldviews class in college. Anyway, just my 4 cents... due to inflation 2 pennies are not worth much now ;-)

  14. maybe...
    Disappointment followed by introspection = expectation & grand vision. Bliss (fulfillment) followed by introspection = presently open to God's gifts.
    Thank you for all of the wonderful inspiring words you share each day!

  15. Oh, Jen, I do love this, I do worry that I am guilty of this. THanks for making me aware. Blessings!

  16. I wrote the most uh-maze-ing comment...and then blogger decided to die. so...know that this post brought tears to my eyes cuz it really hit home, in most every way!!


  17. My daughter says that I also give my husband major anxiety about gifts for me. I don't get it, I'm very good about giving him a list and/or dropping hints.

    Thanks for visiting on my SITS day. Come back any time. You'll always be welcome at my place.


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