Monday, June 6, 2011

Interrupted Conversations & Soli Deo Gloria Party

Welcome to Soli Deo Gloria, whether it's your first time here or your 25th.  Basically, we are a community of women that seek to encourage, support, love each other with our words.  It's a fun party and I love hosting you here each week.  If you would like more information about this community, please click here.  Just a note:  Please don't feel that you have to visit every single person that links up.  We are all on a time budget.  That being said, I do invite you to pray and ask God which blogs to visit simply because there may be words for you left in that place or words that God has given you to share to those specific people.  Also, if you would like to be on the email list for reminders and the occasional prayer request, please let me know if the comments.  Blessings to everyone!



God often uses my children to get a point across to me, so the other night, as I was lying in bed, I heard this conversation rolling through my head:

God:  What if your daughter did to you want you do to me?
Me:  What do you mean, God?
God:  Imagine Abby having this kind of conversation with you --
Me:  I love you, Abby!
Abby:  But what do you want me to do, Mom?
Me:  I just want you to know I love you.
Abby:  No, that's not enough.  I just need to know what you want me to do next.
Me:  Nothing.  I just want you to know that I lo....(interrupted)
Abby:  MOM!  No more of that...just tell me what to do!

I can't imagine (well, first that my daughter would ever be that concerned about getting all her work done, but I digress...) my daughter as a being unable to receive my love.

And yet...

This is what I do to God every single day.

I cannot be silent and let God just tell me He loves me.  I feel His love for me in the ways that He provides me, protects me, blesses me, but when He tries to speak those words, I run.  For whatever reason (and feel free to help me process this), my heart can't handle it.  I am comfortable with Him giving me directions.  I'm even pretty comfortable with His discipline.  But receiving love through words, I just can't take.

I am determined not to stay in this place.  I see this as part of a refining process -- I have to be able to listen to everything He says or I will fall prey to the lies of world, the lies of the enemy, the lies I tell myself.  So, I'm praying for an uncovering and for freedom and for a heart that is open to all of His gifts.

Blessings to all of you, sweet friends!  His love for me is evident through every one of you.  Thank you for being that for me.

Spread your love!


30 comments :

  1. First to the party.

    Jen,
    This rings so true for me. When we put our kids in the place of us and compare our love to His, it makes it so real. I find it really hard to be silent sometimes, not because I want to be doing something all the time, but because often I don't like what I hear when I truly listen. I can't take the silence.

    Thanks for putting this in a way that makes it real. Would make an outstanding speaking topic. . .not that you asked :)

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  2. Yes, God is constantly teaching me through lessons of my children. It's astounding how that works. And it works! It gets the point across.

    Your example definitely brings it home for me. Thank you.

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  3. I love you Jen! That enemy is tricksy. I am asking God what to do a lot also. Sometimes, not doing and just being is best. Being is hard, because we always want to change ourselves!
    Please update my email address to vickievolving at gmail dot com. I had to delete my old yahoo email...I want to keep up with the prayer requests :)

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  4. This is lovely Jen. You have such a sweet spirit. I wish I knew you apart from "cyberworld"!

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  5. I'm so proud of you. That's my first and best response.

    But you know me, I can't resist...when you wrote, "I have to be able to listen to everything He says...", it made me think - and I may be off-base here - love takes precedence. I mean, I know that love takes different forms so you can hear/receive love when He speaks discipline or direction or whatever. I'm speaking more fundamentally than that. I think...

    Love is the most important message. Just love. Lots and lots of love. With no reasoning. No explanations. No justifications. Just because. I think that's what your heart needs, friend. I think it's crying out for it, and He is listening.

    It will be awesome to see how the message gets across!

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  6. oh friend... i find it so hard to rest in his love too. thank you for this challenge, for this unique perspective. love to you. xo

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  7. Why is it so hard for us to accept the love, the sweet whispers of truth from Jesus; and yet, so easy for us to accept the lies from the enemy? Thanks for the reminder to fight back against this reality and to really grab hold of His amazing love for us.

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  8. So many of us have felt -- or still feel -- that we must do something to earn God's love. Grace came at a price, but it is free to us.

    No charge.
    The debt, canceled.
    The punishment, paid.

    Incredible.

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  9. Hi Jen. Sometimes the things my girls say or do really get to the heart of the matter much more profoundly than anything else. God can use anyone or anything to get our attention. Thank goodness.
    God bless
    Tracy

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  10. This is one hard blessing to accept from God...that He chooses to love us, not based on what we're doing, what we will accomplish, or what we're going to be capable of. I think this love is freeing once we can begin to partially grasp it and perceive it (I don't know we will ever fully grasp His love for us).
    Thank you for sharing this.

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  11. Hmmm. . .I think the remedy for wanting to run from His love words is to keep listening to them, praying through it. My friend told me this once and I have never forgotent it: "God sees us through the lens of Jesus. All of the yucky, dirty stuff is gone. He swells with love and tenderness when He speaks to us." I just imagine God with His Jesus glasses, seeing me beautiful and clean. Makes it easier to understand how He can call me His beloved :)

    Beautiful post today, Jen!

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  12. Hi Jen:

    I'm continually amazed at God's love for us and how he loves me in spite of my many shortcomings and failures. How He speaks His love for me through a variety of ways...from the mouths of children, from His creation...Love that knows no bounds and is unconditional.

    Love this post!

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  13. This is the way we are with everyone. It is not easy for us to accept love without terms or conditions.

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  14. God is constantly and patiently teaching us how to have a relationship with Him. I guess this is a next step for you! maybe with others who naturally accept His love, He will teach how to accept His instructions! God bless you!

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  15. What a beautiful concept - His love. We just can't fatham how vast it is! God used a time of depression for me to truly learn - grasp - accept His thoughts toward me. It changed my life. How I see EVERYTHING from that time on has been different. It's the surrendered place - accepting not earning. Be blessed in His presence today...

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  16. "I am determined not to stay in this place." Oh dear Jen, I think just in the saying of it, in the getting it out in the open, the healing begins.

    For now, perhaps, you can lift open face to Heaven and just allow His Loving Breath to brush your face and know He is LORD and He loves you...bless you dear sister.

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  17. I am the same way Jen. I "think" one reason why the long season of yuck...is me learning to accept His love for me apart from me having to "do" something for it. I have to be so intentional everyday about acknowledging it because I slip back into it very naturally. Love ya:) how is your summer going so far?
    xo

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  18. I wonder if there is something there, deep inside of you that can't accept the love, even though you know it's good and what you need.Sometimes the root of it is the lies we believe that we are not good enough for it, or we need to earn it. Sometimes it's a self protection:(if you let Him love you,it will require something from you) Usually, we don't even know we've been doing it, until the Father begins to uncover it like He is doing for you. I will be praying that He shows you what the root is so that He and you can get rid of it, and you will be able to bask in His words of love! Have a wonderful day!

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  19. One of my favorite verses is "I believe, help now my unbelief." Seems a good prayer for your well written situation here. I believe that you love me,God, help now my unbelief."

    Praying with you in your journey.

    fondly,
    Glenda

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  20. Ah, Jen - the age-old situation for those of us who are more Martha-like by nature. And there's nothing wrong with Martha - Jesus enjoyed her hospitality, appreciated her honest inquiry, called her name twice (a sign of deep affection and respect) before gently correcting her. The problem comes when we find ourselves unable to sit at his feet, being quiet and receptive, instead of running those feet off in a million different directions so that we can feel better about how useful we are. Been there, done that. Carve out a half day for silence in a beautiful spot. Journal dialogue, as you so beautifully do - only don't even use scripture to begin. Just sit in silence and ask God the very questions you're asking us. Then write down what you hear. It may take a while, but I promise you, you'll hear something you need and want to hear. This is such a richly insightful post, Jen. Good, good work. Have you ever had a spiritual director? These are exactly the kinds of questions that an hour a month in direction can help you wade through. Consider it.

    Love from Diana at http://drgtjustwondering.blogspot.com

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  21. Oh, goodness. I have learned so much as a result of my own children. Thanks for a great lesson--for a lot of us, just accepting God's grace can be quite the challenge.

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  22. Loved reading the thoughts God brought to your mind through the imaginary communication with your daughter. Was encouraging to me today, and a reminder to sit, listen to, and enjoy God's love for me ...

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  23. This is one of my favorite of your posts, and I stand very convicted. We take a peculiar pride in being in tune to the will of God and wanting Him to use us in the way he designs to. How often have I been the same way and not just rested in his love.

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  24. Oh, this is such an eye opener! My kids are always teaching me too. Isn't it amazing the way they see?
    I'm having an empty week, Jen. But so love stopping here to be filled.

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  25. I so totally get this Jen. Why can't I just accept the gift of love with expectations from me? Deep thinking beautiful lady. When you figure it out, fill me in!

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  26. Friend, I too struggle with receiving love. It's that struggle to earn grace. But children receive so well, don't they? Oh to be like that.

    love to you!
    Mel

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  27. So, so good! I used to be in a church with a lot of personal prophecy and every one I got was about how much God loved me. One day I complained to my husband because he always got things that had interesting thoughts and ideas. His response "maybe God is just trying to get it through your thick head that He loves you. Maybe that is what you need to hear!" Thanks for this great post and your transparency! ~Jessica

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  28. Jen, I just finished reading and commenting on this weeks Soli Sisters . . . a fun part of my weekly routine. Such beautiful women. I wanted to jump back on and say thanks for hosting each week.

    And Diana's comment above . . . wow!

    Fondly,
    Glenda

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  29. What a great example to use your kids and your unremitting love for them as an example of God's love for us -- never thought of it that way!

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  30. I want to rest in his love...always. Help me, Lord.

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