Sunday, July 24, 2011

For It Is Not You...

"For it is not you who will be speaking -- it will be the Spirit of your Father speaking through you."
Matthew 10:20

I will be blogging about everything I learned at the She Speaks conference for quite some time.  In fact, I just wrote a blog post about She Speaks for my Soli Deo Gloria link up tomorrow night, but alas, I am sitting in an airport with free wi-fi.  What else to do, but blog, right?  And I love Michelle and Laura -- such fun people to hang out with in blogland.

This verse, though, y'all, I got to live this out.  Amazing.  Simply and fully amazing.  Friday night, I had to give a 3 minute talk in front of my speaker evaluation group, which consisted of 14 people, all speakers.  I had written, and re-written, scratched out, re-worded, and ultimately totally tossed all of the drafts of this talk.  And so, when I walked up to the front of the room, I had nothing.  Not one scrap of paper.  All I had was a whispered prayer:

Holy Spirit, breath through me.  Speak not the words on my own agenda, but Your Words, Your Heart.  Let not my need for perfection supersede the impression of Your Will.

And to be totally real, I also said things like:

Why do you do this to me?  Why can't I just memorize some conglomeration of powerful words and get up there and say it?  Why can't you just TELL ME NOW so I can be PREPARED?  Why must I risk looking like a fool?

Looking like a fool.  That was the heart.  But walking up there, vacillitating between trusting that He would show up and resigning myself to falling on my face, there wasn't too much room for pride.  There wasn't too much room for my message.  There wasn't too much room for fulfilling my desires to be perfect.  In the emptiness of my brain, there was a fullness in my heart of just wanting to open my mouth and let Him be through me.

And He came.

Not in the form of perfection.
Not in the form of wonderful eye contact and pregnant pauses.
Not in the form of words so elegantly strung together.
Not in the form of a perfectly placed punch line.

But He came.

He came in the form of a message that visibly struck these women's hearts.
He came in a message of rest.
He came in the refuting of the common belief:  If you are busy, you are good.
He came in the gentle call to sit upon the steps of the throne room and just receive His gracious love.

The rush of the Holy Spirit's words coursing through my heart and then up and through my mouth...

Better than perfection.
More than enough.
Left breathless by His stunning beauty and unconcerned with my own image in those moments after it was finished.

He came.  

And with me, I carry Him, that He would be in my every word.  That is my hope.

Linking with these beautiful women:







And would you consider being a part of Soli Deo Gloria?  Link is open from Monday at 8pm CST through Wednesday at 11:59pm CST.



18 comments :

  1. I knew He would speak through you because I was praying for you. Cannot wait to hear more in the next few weeks!

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  2. He is so faithful. Thank you for sharing with us....blessings!

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  3. "He came." Isn't GOD a Wonder?!! Absolutely love this...Holy Spirit breath swirling in and filling you with words...

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  4. HE CAME> What a beautiful witness. Love to hear more about your experience at She speaks. Thank you for sharing.

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  5. This just makes me so very excited. I knew He was going to do amazing things with this weekend. Cannot wait to hear more.

    And one day...totally going to hear you speak :)

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  6. Oh my gosh, I am riveted by this story, Jen -- such a powerful testimony. I absolutely cannot wait to hear more about how God worked through you at She Speaks!

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  7. Wow!! And you were faithful - you listened and He took control. What a powerful lesson. I too look forward to reading more about your experiences at She Speaks. :)

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  8. I am beyond thrilled for you! How brave, to walk up there with only a prayer. Talk about emptying yourself to be a vessel! Looking forward to reading more and more about this conference.
    PS: You were prayed for, Girl!

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  9. PS: This was my favorite line: "Left breathless by His stunning beauty and unconcerned with my own image in those moments after it was finished."
    Wow.

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  10. This is beautiful, Jen! He is faithful. When we step out in faith, he is always there to meet us.

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  11. I, too, have been praying, sweet friend! I'm so glad to know that you felt His wind beneath you as you spoke. I can't wait to hear more. So excited to see the fruit of the weekend. On the edge of my seat here!

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  12. Lovely! Looking forward to hearing more of your conference experience!

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  13. So good to read! I guess the real risk of looking like a fool is when we come instead of God. Glad you trusted and allowed Him to work through you.

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  14. Jen isnt amamzing how He just shows up and gives us and all there just what they and you need. I can hardly wait to read more.
    Yes giving Jesus to children is a wonderful gift to help them stay a float and guide them through life.
    Blessings

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  15. Thank you Lord, for Your faithfulness to Jen.

    Fondly,
    Glenda

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  16. I'm so thrilled with the report from your conference. God is so faithful -- and He loves finding willing and expectant hearts.

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  17. Better than perfection.
    More than enough.
    Left breathless by His stunning beauty and unconcerned with my own image in those moments after it was finished.

    So beautiful! Isn't that a great feeling? Knowing that God showed up, because in your own strength, those words could never be anything but words; and yet, because of Him, they become more than words.

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