Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Channelling My Inner Bob Ross

Bob Ross, the happy cloud painter,
always making it look so easy.
And yet, for me, it's not.
A constant struggle, me and this paintbrush,
The vision in my head, perfect,
and yet, my hand fails me.
My mind starts whispering...

How could you even think...?

My wish is to automatically behold
a finished piece of perfection.
I cannot bear to understand this in between stage of
building.
growing.
the painting, in the process of perfecting...we have a long way to go
embellishing.
Perhaps to not be able to produce
instantaneous perfection just elicits
my feelings of continual
inadequacy, a deep fear of
FAILURE.
Because if I don't get it right the first time,
will I ever get it right at all?

And yet, in painting, in life,
Isn't it the process of perfectING,
not the process of perfectED?

It is just like me.
I cry out,
can't we be done yet?
must we keep with this
building?
growing?
embellishing?
Must my flesh continue to fail me,
even though my heart yearns
for obedience to One?

No matter how much I strive
to open my eyes and be
everything that I always have imagined,
the process must be more important
than whatever goal I have envisioned,
this perfectING process
that pulls me closer to the Savior that is the
embodiment of all I ache for.

And so, I lift up my paintbrush,
I lift up my flesh,
as an offering,
a promise,
to continue on this journey of
building.
growing.
embellishing,
for if I choose to abandon hope,
for if I choose to lay down the paintbrush,
for if I choose to crouch down in fear,
I will be choosing death,
the antithesis of what He has planned.

May I honor Life.





And 

StudioJRU

21 comments :

  1. stunning.

    so much bliss.

    my heart is full of paint and ink and beauty and love.

    bless you.

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  2. I don't think we'll ever arrive (but why is it that we feel like we should?!) I struggle w/ this too. But it keeps my eyes on Him b/c I know I can't love and serve and be the things I need to be on my own. Your words are timely. Thanks, friend.

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  3. I lift up my paintbrush
    I lift up my flesh...

    That is so vital...to see your artform as an offering...

    lovely.

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  4. I so want to be Bob Ross! I completely understand your painting pain. The vision in my head is so perfect, but my hand and brush cannot make it appear, so I give up. I'm so thankful that God doesn't give up on me. His vision for me may not be complete - yet. But He continues His mighty work in my life and it's going to be beautiful!

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  5. Great blend of art and faith. Thanks Jen.

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  6. Jen,
    Oh, I know that feeling and that cry, "Can't we be done, yet?"

    Instantaneous perfection, yep.

    So glad you took a picture so we could enjoy a bit of your work here.

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  7. I used to paint and always hated the in between of start and finish. I never wanted anyone to see it at the middle stage. But you are learning that middle stage is where we all are living. Love this idea! Great thoughts!

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  8. Oh my...I remember Bob Ross. I used to watch him on public television. I loved his voice..and that hair! This brings back memories!
    and yes..the process. I keep telling myself to trust the process...love ya:)
    xo

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  9. smiles. it is a process...took up painting again not too long ago...there is def something spiritual in the act of creating art...

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  10. beautiful write, Jen. right there with you, praying for you, knowing that He holds us. faithfully.
    blessings on you this day.
    steph

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  11. I feel like you peeked into my soul before you wrote this... except that I am still too scared to do something such as picking up a paintbrush.

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  12. And you have no idea how excited I am that I can FINALLY comment on your post! I haven't been able to comment on anyone's posts where comments are embedded below the post... *sigh* I loved your Five Minute Friday last week too!

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  13. Wonderful, Jen. My favorite part? It's the "-ING," the idea of process. It reminds me that our faithful Lord continues to work in us... not "if," but "until."

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  14. Yes! May we trust Him for the outcomes. :)

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  15. i know this fear. and how it wants to stop us from creating, dear jen, for in creating we unite with him. don't let it get the best of you, friend. and with time, it will get easier. love to you.

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  16. Perfect encouragement for me today. Thank you for sharing your learnings and thoughts.

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  17. Yes. Yes. Yes. I can totally relate to your post Jen. Embracing the process allows the joy. And so we all continue on the journey! :) And Bob Ross... my mom would set up a painting table for me while I pained along with him on PBS. Good times! lol

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  18. The beauty of what we finally capture when we are able to just begin I think speaks volumes. It takes such courage just to begin I think.

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  19. Oh yeah...can't we be done...enough with the lessons already! We all share in the same struggles with our art and our lives and it's healing to know that we are all on the same, yet different paths, so we can encourage each other. Hope you have a wonderful week. Fondly, Roberta
    www.loveshackliving.com

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  20. Beautifully said...and oh so true. Thank you for the reminder. I love when you said it is about "perfecting" not being "perfected." I am so glad that HE takes me in any condition. :) Have a wonderful week.

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