O God, you are my God;
I earnestly search for you.
My soul thirsts for you;
my whole body longs for you
in this parched and weary land
where there is no water.
Psalm 63: 1
I've been thinking lately --
what prohibits us from seeing this life from a God perspective?
Sometimes I forget who I am.
And a lot of times, I choose to forget what the Word says.
And I am seeing what competition this world is --
this world view that so often floods my very being,
a world view that tells me I must compete for what I have,
for what I deserve,
for even what He has called me to be.
That people are secondary and things are of primary importance.
How often do I choose things --
things that need buying
Over my children?
And how often do I choose people simply because they could
How quickly the God perspective is drowned out
by the drone of the television
or in the books
or in the to-do list
or even the blogs
and the class
and the prayers.
And the question becomes:
Am I pervaded by God?
If I am, I do only the things He puts on my heart
and I am filled by the living water,
and not by this dry and parched land.
If I am...
And I read this Psalm 63,
this first verse,
and every time, it seems,
I am moved to tears.
Because I know what my soul truly longs for.
And I know how my mind and body often choose
to simply believe the lies
that there is something better than God
or that He needs some kind of supplement.
And I imagine myself,
myself without God,
living a life unpervaded,
and I am simply a straggly girl,
crawling across the sandy desert floor,
yearning and despairing and dying
for a drink.
I don't want to be a straggly girl
who acts out of desperation.
I want to be in His sanctuary.
I want to be satisfied.
To be filled to the brim even when my worldly circumstances
are less than.
But, I must be pervaded.