Friday, December 9, 2011

oh my soul

A few weeks ago, Big Fat Mama from Cooking Up Faith asked me to share a story about a time in my life where I was held captive and God ushered in freedom.  I immediately thought back to a guest post that I wrote many months ago.  Here it is again, but rewritten with God's amazing words entwined with mine.  Will you join me over there?  Not convinced?  Here is a teaser...
Photo source

My husband is a recovering porn addict.  I am a recovering trying-to-control-my-husband’s-every-last-move addict.  His captivity provided monstrous amounts of fuel that powered my desire to cure him, rehabilitate him, to help him become consumed with anything but porn.  I bought him books.  We arranged counseling.  I monitored his email accounts, his web browser history, his time on the computer.  I drilled him, I questioned him, I cried out to him – How could you do this to me?  And before I knew it, we were both enslaved.  We were trapped by different chains, but they were chains nonetheless.  They held us back from Jesus.  They held us back from each other.  They threatened to keep us seated in our own personal prisons forever.

Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits; (Psalm 103: 2)

As much as I prayed that God would heal him from his addiction, and as much as I knew that he could be set free, I simply could not let God handle this one on His own. 


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Also, I was included in the Around the High Calling Community (what an honor!).  Click here to see who/what has been featured by the newsletter editor, David!

9 comments :

  1. When I .... attempt to control, I forgot to surrender. Very, very true in mine own life. The chain of 'control' has choked my neck for a period of 'far too long'. Thanks for sharing, and thanks for your husband who is willing to let his struggle be shared because it plants seeds in the next porn addict toward breaking chains too.

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  2. this is GORGEOUS.

    your husband is a brave man, a hero. give him a hug from a grateful woman and whisper in his ear that he is strong and brave.

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  3. I love that image full of tenderness. Greetings.

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  4. Cripes, I'm not usually a Friday blogger, but glad I came over to read this, and I almost missed Abby!

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  5. I love how you wove the Scripture into your story---His story weaves into your story and to the one you have given your heart. The healed don't keep silent---they can't!

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  6. I was imprisoned by fear for over 5 years. So many chains - so many different prisons. Thanks for your honesty and transparency. You have ministered to us.

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  7. Such a powerful revelation of how we can become enslaved. I always find it interesting how easily we can become enslaved to something whether it seems "wrong" or not. Thanks for sharing!

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  8. I get chills reading this, Jen. I so appreciate your transparency. Even though this is not a battle that we've had to face in my marriage, I fear its temptations and still feel slightly chained by just the thought of it creeping in.

    So your advice is SO good:
    "Trust God.
    Love your husband."

    I can use it in so many ways:
    "Trust God.
    Love your daughters,"
    on and on.

    Thank you, friend, for sharing another piece of who you are. And for sharing another piece of who God is--our great, big, awesome Father!

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  9. Thank you for being so raw and honest. You spoke to my heart. My husband isn't addicted to pornography, but he isn't a believer of Jesus. He is a cynic, and I try to control him and his responses to situations. I've been trying to just love him through it, but it's so easy to get back on that track of taking control of the situation instead of turning to God. Thank you for the reminder.

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