|photo source via Pinterest|
With cultivation, I envision slowness. In many ways, then, cultivation is the antithesis of the rhythm of my day. What I realize now, though, is this: If I take in things that are happening around me and to me with a pace that is frantic, hurried, and fast, I am unable to recall the lessons that God has taught me previously. However, if I take in these events or words or relationships and mix them into the soil of my life, I can more readily either see how they fit in. When I digest events instead of attack them, more than likely, clarity ensues.
In the past, I have always freaked out about money. If an expense popped up that I didn't expect, even if we had money in savings to cover it, I would chose to deal with the situation often with worry, anxiety, fear, and a fair about of tears. Even if we could pay for something, I viewed the expense as something that took away my security (i.e. my savings account) and that left me vulnerable (i.e. What if something else happens and we've spent all our money here and then don't have money for this?). When the new expense popped up, I immediately reacted, which meant that all the times that God had provided meant nothing to me at the moment. I couldn't assimilate this new happening with those of the past because I was too busy trying to figure things out with an anxious and restless heart.
Today when the heater repairman came to diagnose my unusually loud A/C unit and then, about 15 minutes later told me that the motor was out and it would cost approximately $1100 to fix, I went through this process:
1. Okay, we have the money in savings to cover this.
2. It doesn't leave us with a lot, but God is faithful. He will provide if we need money for something else.
3. Oh my goodness! Maybe I need to go back to working part-time so these things don't require us to take so much money out of savings!
|photo source via Pinterest|
5. Breathe and continue folding laundry.
6. God will provide. God will provide. God will provide.
7. When the repairman says, "Oh, I forgot to add on the $69 diagnostic fee," repeat step 6, coupled with the phrase, "Do not hit the repairman."
It wasn't a perfect process, but I didn't call my husband crying. I didn't start looking up part-time jobs on the internet. My stomach didn't tie itself into knots. And on the whole, it's a heater and we need heat, so I'm just going to be thankful that we have the money and pay the man. With joy! (that last part, I'm totally being sarcastic -- I'm still a work in progress)
I just wonder how many times I have gone through the same thing over and over again simply because I chose to ignore the lessons God had taught me previously and instead react with worry, anxiety, and fear. This little (expensive) event has given me new insight on how I can react to new events with the spirit of cultivation instead of a frantic panic.
What about you? Is there some trigger that normally sends you over the deep end? How would a spirit of cultivation help keep you sane and grounded on His foundation?