Are you interested in cultivating something in your life? Cultivate is my word for 2012. If you would like to share what God is cultivating in your heart, please let me know. I would love to have you in this space.
Meet Sarah. Isn't she just lovely? She has graciously put together a post that speaks about her own cultivation journey, a journey to contentment in any circumstance.
Maybe I'm a product of my
generation. My parents, with hearts of love, constantly told me
I could
do anything. And really, truly, I believe it. To this day. I’m not alone in
this either; so many of my peers were taught that and believe that.
Maybe I'm caught up in the
hustle. I love juggling jobs, friends, family, community, blogging and
oh-so much more. When I succeed, that thrill of work well done is undeniably
delicious.
Nothing wrong with working hard
and hoping for good fruit, I tell myself.
And yet.
And yet the crack becomes a
canyon when we lose contentment.
Like my fellow type-A
overachievers, I have wrestled fiercely with contentment for much of my life.
When I got a B, I wanted an A. And when I got an A, I wanted an A+. Grades were
merely one area where I was not content. I grew older and this want for
academic perfection became a want for professional and personal perfection.
As an adult, I strive, work and fight fight fight to make
this world a better place and love others well and use my gifts for impact.
Good things, yes. But I easily lose grasp of contentment. I want it all and
I want it all now. Everything from a successful career to a fitness
magazine body to a rom-com-quality marriage . . . the list is endless.
And this struggle with
contentment magnified itself last year. In just a matter of weeks, I moved
across the country, got married, launched a freelance business and left a job. In
one fell swoop, I found myself trying to adjust to a new community, being a new
wife, finding a new job and finding new friends.
It's difficult to be content in
the easiest of circumstances. Much more difficult, though, when all that's
around you is new and daily life is anything but steady.
In that moment, at that
crossroads, I found myself less content than ever.
I wanted not a new job, but a
perfectly fulfilling career. I wanted not a good home, but an immaculate
residence. I wanted not a new and growing marriage, but a flawless,
head-over-heels romance. I wanted not new friends, but a comfy community where
I fit like a puzzle piece.
I found myself only craving
and rarely appreciating.
In the darkest moments, I gave
myself little grace. I sought everything but contentment. Diminishing Christ
brought more floundering and thrashing; I had no desire to wake up each
morning.
When I'm not content with what
Christ has given me, I lose grace. I disrespect both God and myself:
thinking I know what's best and hating myself when I don't meet my
expectations.
Today, I look back at that dreary
time with this strange mixture of anger and praise. Anger because oh, how I
wish I had handled things differently. Praise, though, because God constantly,
daily, equipped me for the journey.
Slowly and gradually, God is
using that experience and that transition to cultivate contentment. It's a
daily struggle, but God is graciously growing in me a new heart.
God is cultivating contentment
by opening my eyes. All it takes is to simply open my eyes. And a slow,
methodical, intentional 365-degree turn shows me how and why. God is teaching
me that only in contentment can I clearly see the gifts He has given.
Sometimes, He uses prayer to
stretch me. Sometimes, sweet friends to convict me. Sometimes, broken
situations and terrible struggles and falling-down-the-stairs bumps and bruises
impact me. Sometimes real, genuine pain and heartache bring me to my knees.
God is teaching me to praise Him
no matter how I feel and find contentment there. Thanking God for all that He
has given me helps me build a grateful heart. Noticing the little things, the
tiniest gifts, helps me life a content life. A life where I appreciate the
place where I am.
Uncertainty, no matter where we
are in life, is constantly facing us. Each day brings new challenges and today
I am in a season of uncertainty. What's next, I ask in nearly every
corner of life.
And in that very uncertainty, in
that very darkness, God leads me towards contentment. Contentment with what God
has for me here, today, in this moment.
Contentment with Him, no matter
what.
Want to read more of Sarah? Of course you do!
Click here to scoot on over to her place.