It's time to pull up your chair. Do you know you have one here in this space we call Soli Deo Gloria? You do. It's reserved every week only for you. This place would be different if you weren't here and we miss you when you are gone. This is a place filled with women who seek to honor your words, you heart, your tears, and your laughter. Scooch in close. You won't want to miss a word.
To read more about the Soli Deo Gloria community, please click here. oh! and we now have a mission statement -- check out the SDG page!
He looks pretty pitiful, yes? All four paws bandaged up because he got out of his new collar, which I fastened incorrectly, and headed through the woods after a deer as we walked to pick up the kids from school. He bounded through quite a few cacti and through the Texas underbrush which tore up his paws pretty badly. And, even though it was only 82 degrees, somehow he got heat stroke, too. I guess running full throttle for 10-15 minutes will do that to a dog, or at least, this dog.
Through the whole experience, I had to rely on a lot of neighbors -- some of whom I didn't know. 3 people helped to chase after him. One lady gave me her car, which when Hank finally ran out of gas, I put him in, not knowing yet that he was bleeding all over the place. Another friend held onto Hank and gave me a bottle of water so I could clean the blood off the seats and floorboards (using the beach towel I found in her front seat, of course). Did I mention I didn't even know the car owner's name? And that this was a BMW? Paul (the one holding Hank) also called Jason (Craig's best friend and our vet who just happened to be off work that day) because I didn't have my phone with me. Meanwhile, my other friend had to go get my kids and when she got back, helped me scrub down the car with some baby wipes she had tucked in her car. As we cleaned, we had to reassure all the small children that hovered over Hank that he would indeed be okay. And then my children started crying. It was an ordeal.
I felt terrible because Jason had already spent the morning helping Craig fix a dead battery in his car, which still had to be towed to a mechanic. This was also the second (yes, second) time that Hank had gotten away from me due to my inability to improperly secure and/or hold a leash. (I mean really, how hard is walking a dog??)
I felt like the biggest idiot on the planet.
Unable to control my tears, I broke down in the car (Craig came and got us after Jason hauled Hank off to the animal hospital). Over and over and over again, I called myself and idiot in front of my kids (which I never do). I heaped the blame of an accident onto myself. I thought about how everyone must think that I am the most incompetent person in the neighborhood. I called myself a burden and I sunk under the weight of how much everyone had to do for me.
All in all, I kinda went left, ya know?
And the whole experience really shed light on quite a few things:
1. God provided in amazing ways. I am just astounded at how He totally handed to me what I needed at the exact moment I needed it. And all because of a dog.
2. I care much more about what people think of me than I was (am?) willing to admit. I mean, as many of you know, I can get obsessed with numbers and scales and competition, but this shed light on how deep my need is for people to think that I am capable.
3. After I accepted all the help, my next instinct was to figure out how I could repay all these people. What could I buy them? What could I say? A simple "thank you" couldn't be good enough...could it? I felt so indebted...and I realized just how uncomfortable this made me.
These last two things -- all about PRIDE. It's another layer uncovered. Which is hard because I feel like I am always dealing with pride. But, on the other hand, hooray that there is now space for light to come in and reveal. Hooray that I am another step closer to being free. Who really wants to walk around feeling scared that someone else might think they are stupid? Who really wants to walk around with a mental tally sheet, trying to figure out who owes who and by what deadline?
It's all chains and He is the bondage breaker, the One who ushers in freedom. And I want to be free. Don't you?
SDG Community Builder: 1) In effort to make sure everyone feels loved here, will you please visit the 2 people ahead of you and leave a comment for them? (If you are numero uno or dos, come back and visit the last person in the link up). 2) If you are new, type in "I'm New!" as your caption so that we might give you some extra linky love. 3) Exciting new development in the SDG world -- we are going to be creating small groups so that our community can retain its intimate feel and so that we can grow deeply with each other. More info to come next week."Rise up from the dust, O Jerusalem.Sit in a place of honor.Remove the chains of slavery from your neck,O captive daughter of Zion." Isaiah 52:2
(oh! And guess who I got to have lunch with last Thursday? The amazingly beautiful and wonderful Courtney from AWIP!! She's so genuine and fun and all around awesome!)