Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Break the Tape: When someone calls you a loser

Welcome, friends, for today's edition of Break the Tape.  Essentially, our goal is to identify the lies that repeat themselves over and over again in our minds, break the tape that automatically begins plays when ever we feel we've fallen short, and learn a new song to sing in its place.  
Meet Kim.  Some of you may know her by KD Sullivan.  Whatever name you call her, it's always followed by words like thoughtful, soulful, talented, giving.  I could go on and on, but the point is clear:  this girl will warm your heart and be a good friend to you because she knows the love of Jesus.
Inadequate. Worthless. Loser.

These words have rung in my ears my entire adult life.

I grew up in a wonderful Christian home and my parents empowered me with the belief that I could accomplish anything I put my hands to.  I believed them.  But years of verbal and physical abuse in my first marriage were quick to tear down the image of confident princess. 

It’s sad how easily disassembled a beautiful building can be.  My parents carefully built my confidence brick by brick only to have the castle brought down with words catapulted like fiery missiles.

Over the years, I have built onto a different Cornerstone.  He is my foundation.  Good upbringing is strong, but He is stronger.  It’s taken this middle aged mama all of forty-four years to realize that it is okay if in myself I am inadequate, because He is more than enough.  It’s fine if someone else doesn’t recognize my value, because He found me worth dying for.  As far as being a loser?  Victory comes from the Lord, and it often looks like a loss or setback.  I can never correctly assess a loss or victory until the finish line of life.

It’s taken years to gain back confidence.  I have no confidence in my flesh, for in my flesh I am nothing.  But my confidence is in the Lord, and He calls me:

Adequate.
Valuable.
Winner.

What words has the Lord helped you to replace?

Want to read more of Kim?  Oh, yes you do!  She blogs at Journey to Epiphany.  Click here to travel over there.

Linking with Tracey for Winsome WednesdayEmily for Imperfect Prose, Jennifer for God Bumps, and Shanda for On My Heart.

34 comments :

  1. "Victory comes from the Lord, and it often looks like a loss or setback." I need to write that on my hand, in permanent ink. Thank you, Kim! Thank you, Jen, for hosting!

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    1. I know what you mean Brandee, many times the thing I hung my head over most is the very thing God uses to conform me into His image and will.

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  2. Beautiful, Kim. He is our all in all.

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    1. He is. He is the one who holds my head high.

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  3. so glad He is rewriting your tapes...and i think it just might take getting along in years to find that peace in knowing who we are in Christ...I think it is His kindness...as we lose the youthful energy...we gain an aged strength. Thanks for sharing...blessings to you~

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    1. I like this "as we lose the youthful energy...we gain an aged strength." What lovely words to live by!

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  4. Kim -- It absolutely breaks my heart to think of someone knocking over that castle built by your loving parents. I'm so glad you've rebuilt, on Christ's foundation. Like Jen said in the intro, you are such a thoughtful, kind-hearted person. I'm glad that God has blessed you with the knowledge of your worth. Much, much love to you.

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    1. Jennifer, this is one of the kindest comments that I've ever received. I hold your words close to my heart and feel His embrace...and yours. Thank you.

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  5. I needed these words today. Feeling down about *my* abilities to be a *good* friend to someone who needs something different than I can give.

    But I'm still adequate, valuable, and a winner because of who Jesus is. Trying to believe... Thanks, Kim.

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    1. I have often had to say, Lord I believe, help my unbelief!

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  6. It’s sad how easily disassembled a beautiful building can be....so true that...and i am sorry you went through that...i love thought the wisdom in not being able to adquately assess until the finish line...strong truth here...

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    1. God has used so many situations that I thought were negative at the time for His greater good...and ultimately for mine. Sometimes I can't see the forest for the trees.

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  7. So sorry to hear about the abuse you suffered...thanks for sharing how God has redeemed your pain and given you a new and solid perspective based on His love for you...such wisdom to be able to see that we can't adequately assess until the finish line...blessings to you, Kim. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words dear Dolly!

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  8. Beautiful, Kim, and so true! His are the only words that ultimately matter. Praise God that His strength is made perfect in our weakness, and that He uses our trials to conform us to his image.
    Love in Him,
    Laurie Collett
    http://savedbygracebiblestudy.blogspot.com/

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    1. His Words are the delight of my life...

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    1. Letting God's Word work always works... ;)

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  10. i am not, but He Is. yes to replacing every lie with grace and Truth. rejoicing with you.

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    1. That is my desire...to let grace and Truth reign.

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  11. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. ~1 Corinthians 9:25

    Running beside you, beautiful friend. We. Are. Winners.

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  12. "Victory comes from the Lord, and it often looks like a loss or setback." That's so true. Only He sees the whole picture!

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    1. ...and in the whole picture, we are always His champions!

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  13. God can really turn us around no matter where we've been or what we've been through. May He always be your cornerstone.

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    1. He is a firm foundation and a strong tower. Isn't He good, Anne?

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  14. It's funny how you can "know" someone online and not really know their story at all.

    Kim, you beautiful thang, you. Thanks for sharing here with us today.

    JF, You are awesome for thinking up this little series. I can't wait to see what's coming down the pipeline.

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    1. Isn't Jennifer brilliant, Amy? I love her to pieces!! I am excited about God making beautiful things from my life. He is faithful.

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  15. oh my dear friend, i didn't know... i had no idea. you are so honest and real and tender-hearted. i pray God mends and heals and covers over all of those wounded places. love you.

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    1. You are so dear to me, Emily...Our Father is the only One I know who actually makes the scars into beauty marks...

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  16. "It’s fine if someone else doesn’t recognize my value, because He found me worth dying for." Wish I'd had these words to hold onto some 40+ years ago when I'd been worn down first by a mother who called me inadequate and worthless, and then my first husband did the same. Today I believe them with all my heart, and I know the path you've traveled to be able to write so beautifully your message you've just shared.

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    1. Sherry, we are so precious to Him that He would choose the path of pain for us. He wouldn't do that for garbage, would He? He sees us as precious pearls, diamonds in the rough. I'm so sorry that you've had a lifetime of harsh words to overcome, but I am grateful for His Word which is active and alive, transforming us into His image.

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  17. When I first read this I panicked. Panicked because as a parent you want to know that the confidence you are pouring into your kids will last and that no one could tear it away. But then this "Good upbringing is strong, but He is stronger." Such a good reminder to me that our kids need to be first and foremost built up in Him. Thanks for this post and I am so glad you are replacing those words in Him! Thanks for sharing!
    Jen--great series!!

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    1. We do feel helpless as parents sometimes, especially when we know that there is only so much we can do. Someone told me once that the most important thing that I can do as a parent is to place my child's hand in the hand of Jesus. Wise words because only His foundation is sure.

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