It's time to pull up your chair. Do you know you have one here in this space we call Soli Deo Gloria? You do. It's reserved every week only for you. This place would be different if you weren't here and we miss you when you are gone. This is a place filled with women who seek to honor your words, you heart, your tears, and your laughter. Scooch in close. You won't want to miss a word.
I pause as I write this, imagining what surrendering small looks like to God. I picture a little girl approaching Jesus, pebbles in her hands, offering them up, and then laying them down at His feet. On either side of Jesus are larger rocks, even a few boulders, things that this little girl has already offered up. One rock says "house." This little girl already knows that if God were to say "move," well, as sad as it would be, she'd pack the boxes, sell the house, and go wherever it is that God says to go. Another rock says "jobs," and while the little girl has been obedient, giving up several jobs in order to move more fully onto the path that God has for her, she still has a pebble in her hand that says "monetary savings" to which she clings.
It occurs to me in this vision, that there are pebbles everywhere. Those that are in her hand, she is close to spreading at the feet of Jesus. But she still has stockpiles of pebbles in her apron, in her pockets, and scattered around the trail on which she walks. There will always be pebbles to surrender, some old, some new, some she had already given away once or twice or even twenty times.
What makes it so hard to lay the little things at His feet? What is the hardest thing for me to give up right now and why do I not want to lay the pebble down?
What about you? Is there a pebble you try to hide? Maybe you stuff it in your apron? Maybe you think you can hold onto it because you think you have surrendered enough big things that the little ones make nary a difference?
I can rationalize away most anything. If God says something like, "Please don't spend so much time linking to other blogs just to get comments," I say something in return like, "But they are my guest posts and I want my guest posters to be known and heard and loved. I'm just doing it for them. Plus, it doesn't really take that much time, you know."
But if I stop my blabbering for a few minutes, if I stay really still and listen, I hear this:
Jen, do you think I need you in order for your guest posters to be known and heard and loved? Do you not think that I can prompt my people to come visit them in your space? Do you not think that I can whisper to them, lead them, show them? And what about that other motivation you have? Do you fear that if this guest poster (or perhaps even yourself when you link your posts) doesn't receive comments, perhaps you will think that you will be poorly reflected? Perhaps you will feel judged or unloved or unknown?
This little rock, the small pebble labelled "blog link-ups" is in my hand and must be laid down in love at the foot of Jesus. I know that there will be a time again when I can link my posts, but first, God has to refine this avenue of getting out my words. He has to put in through the strainer and catch all the ties to pride.
This may not be your pebble, but I'm sure you have them -- other pebbles with other names. They may seem so small, so insignificant, and yet, He wants them still. Sometimes we may not understand why we must let them go, but all the same, we must lay them down in love, in honor of our God, who wants only the best for us.
Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. 1 John 2: 15-17Sweet friends, this does not mean that Soli Deo Gloria will stop. Soli Deo Gloria will continue to be a space for YOU to come link up and share your heart. All this means is that I am not going to link my posts with other link-up parties for the time being until God teaches me what He wants me to learn through this act of surrender.
SDG Community Builder: 1) Here at SDG we have small groups! If you would like more info about this, please click here. If you would like to join a small group, please leave me a note in the comments or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. 2) If you are new, please write "I'm New!" as your caption so we may come and give you a bit of extra linky love and extend a warm SDG welcome. 3) Register. For the incredibly awesome retreat that we are planning for October.