Tuesday, January 22, 2013

The Real Life (mis)Adventures of Parenting: I Didn't Listen

(Looking for SDG this week?  Scroll down one more post.)
I told her that she would have a two week break from swimming.

I told her that because it's what I *thought* the coach's email had said.  But a subsequent email spelled it out much differently.  Swim practice would be held, and although they recognize that some swimmers would be out of town, for those of us still here, those of us who were extra dedicated, we could swim all our practices and then be allowed to *buy* a special t-shirt that would prove to everyone that we really were serious about our sport.

And so, I told her that we were dedicated ones.  We were serious.  And we would go to all four practices during Christmas break.  And I bribed her with a trip to Sonic.  We made a deal.  We shook on it.

And then Christmas Eve morning, we went to the pool and no one from her usual class was there.  She knew no one except her coach and she declared that she would not be swimming.

And being the wonderful parent that I am, I threatened.  And I threatened.  And I threatened.  Christmas presents, no lunch, in her room all day before church (what a cheery Christmas Eve, yes?).  And she stared at me and said, "Fine."

Further proof of my excellent parenting skills, I started in on her about the importance of keeping a commitment.  I told her that she broke my trust because she said she would do something and now she was refusing to follow through with the promise.

And this was true.

But then she quietly whispered from the backseat that I had broken my commitment, too.

Please come on over to the Whatever Girls site to continue reading the rest of the story.


  1. Oh, this parenting gig is a hard one. Love your honesty here and the way God shows Himself to us in the daily. Blessings to you!

  2. Parenting girls is such a delicate job. I can totally relate to you...even this morning my daughter had to "slow me down". Love your heart - thank you for your encouragement.

    1. I know how hard parenting is as I have been there and done that....but what kept coming to my mind as I read your post is that you both were able to be honest with each other and learn something about the other...So many never get to this step and that's where the hurt comes in....never settled in a loving way with new knowledge of the other person...Sounds to me like you get an A for learning a very valuable lesson....

    2. Oh, Nancy. Thank you for this. You know, when I realized what I had done and was talking to Abby, I had tears coming down my cheeks. I am so grateful for the reconciliation that happened between us.

  3. Seems to me her "gotcha" was bigger than yours; more powerful, and truthful, too.
    Question for you...you told your daughter SHE would have a two week break from swimming. Then, you told her, "WE were the dedicated ones. WE were serious."
    So, who wants this swimming thing...you or her?

    1. This is what we are trying to figure out. Swimming is a great sport for keeping her heart healthy. She loves being an athlete, but sometimes she convinces herself that the workouts are too hard or that she's not good enough. I'm currently praying about how far to push her and when I need to step back.


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