Wednesday, May 1, 2013

A Reformed Performer

stock photo from stock.xchg

I am a performer.

My stage is not in Hollywood, California or in an off-Broadway theatre on the streets of New York.  Rather, it was in my classrooms growing up.  But I wasn't the class clown.  I was the hard-worker.  I sat in the front row, listened attentively, and turned beet red if I ever got in trouble.  One day in sixth grade, I almost got detention for chewing gum.

I thought my world had ended.  What would my parents say of my actions?


I am a director.

My stage doesn't have bright lights or movie cameras.  There isn't a star sign on my dressing room door.  No, my stage now is in my own house and I find myself using a director's voice more than a doting mother's tone most of the time.

I am a performer and a director.  I expect things to move like clock-work, for people to say their lines, to be where they are supposed to be.  "Do not diverge from the script!" I might say.  Going off the beaten path, striking out on your own, unconformity, no that is not me.

I perform so that you will like me.  I perform so you will think I am good.  I perform so that I can get your accolades.  I may not come off as a diva, but it's all a selfish facade, just the same.

I direct because I want it my way.  Don't change the plan.  I don't like to feel uncomfortable.  I don't like not knowing what comes next.

To continue reading my guest post at the W2W this week, please click here. (comments closed on this post so we can chat at W2W)