Friday, June 7, 2013

5 Minute Friday: Fall


I was 20 and we were at Fiesta Texas Theme Park and my dad was paying and my fiance would be strapped in next to me and so I said 'yes' and we went on the Screaming Skycoaster.

I don't remember how many stories up we were, but I remembered the pulley's that cranked as higher and higher we rose, and thinking Dear God, please do not let the rope break.

The whole idea was to feel like you were touching the sky and then free fall back to the ground, all the way down, except for right at the end when the ropes caught and the pulleys held and you were whisked back up towards the heavens instead of landing splat dead on your face.

It mirrors life, don't you think?

How many times do I feel that I am in a free-fall and I cannot see the ropes or the pulleys or even feel the hands of God and all I can say is Please God, don't let me die.

And even though I may not always be talking about a physical death, those emotional and spiritual places of darkness can feel just as painful and real as the ones felt in my bones and my skin.

Sometimes writing this book about our journey through porn addiction feels like a free fall.  But I have to remember that falling can also feel like freedom.  Pulling the rip cord doesn't mean sudden death, but rather, trust.  Somebody will catch me.  Letting go, hands out, allows me to catch the wind, the sails of my soul.  And my husband? He's strapped in next to me and we're both tethered by Jesus.  And even though the ground rushes up quick, soon the rope will go taut and we'll be flying through the air again. Seeing things like we've never seen before.

STOP.  (and honestly, I got a little caught up in my emotions here and forgot to look at the clock. whoops)
I'm hanging out with Lisa-Jo this morning.  Want in?  Here's the deal:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

{Oh! And did you hear?  SDG Retreat registration is live.  How about a little restoration, girls?} Click here to find out more.

photo credit: kevin dooley via photopin cc (words added by Jen)


  1. So beautiful! Yes, sometimes falling can lead to freedom, and how amazing that His grace never lets us go all the way to a death splat. Great post!

  2. This freedom is how I felt when I did that zip line thing.

    And this is cracking me up because I just posted mine and used almost the same sentence, "Dear God, don't let me die." Because I went splat.

  3. Dear Jen
    Life is a roller coaster ride, dear one!! And I think some of the ropes do break along the journey. Yet, we have the hope and assurance that our Lord picks us up, dust us off and helps us back along the way! And when we cannot walk any longer, He picks us up and carries us.
    Much love XX

  4. "Please God, don't let me die." There are days, still, I pray that prayer and then there are days when I think, "Why not? The alternative is surely better." Life has always been a roller coaster but I handled it better when I was a child and didn't know any better but to have a good ride. Now, each morning, I strap God around me like a seat belt and pray to get through the day.
    So far, so good.

  5. Oh I loved this thought about falling feeling like freedom. Have a blessed weekend!

  6. It is like free-falling - this faith in Him - and I am learning how to do that without screaming and crying - however - I don't think I would have EVER got on that ride with my sweetheart on ANY condition:) You are VERY brave! - I love this line "falling can also feel like freedom" - with God - it is freedom, isn't it?!!!!


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