Friday, January 17, 2014

FMF: Encouragement from a former porn star

I sat in my chair yesterday morning, tears again escaping my eyes.  The sense of overwhelm and emptiness overtook me and I lamented over and over:

Why does parenting have to be so hard?

I sit there, blanket around me, dog snoring softly and I don't even know for what more to ask of God.

I don't know what I need.  I just know I need something.  Will you give it to me? I promise to look, God.

A few minutes later, I pull myself together enough to start editing chapter 4.  Unfortunately, chapter 4 required more research.  Research into this dark world of pornography.  And so when I go there, I often emerge from the trenches feeling dirty, saddened, and enraged.

Chapter 4 is not my friend.

I go to Shelley Lubben's site because she has tons of statistics and quotes -- quotes I need from porn stars and producers.  But she asks that before anyone uses any of them, they get permission from her.

I had already asked her once months ago.  No response.

But today, I type out another email and send it off, hoping.

In five minutes I get a return response:
Jen,
You have my permission. Let me know when you have finished the book!!!
Shelley Lubben
Encouragement from a former porn star.  Who would have thought?

But it was exactly what I needed.


photo credit: deeplifequotes via photopin cc

******************************
I'm hanging out with Lisa-Jo this morning.  Want in?  Here's the deal:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

13 comments :

  1. Hi from a fellow FMF writer, and a fellow Jen! :) I love the quote you used at the beginning, and that encouragement can come from even the most unlikely of places. Keep writing!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Delightful story. Life turns on a dime, as they say. Glad that you got your encouragement right when you needed it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. When I was praying for you last night God showed me a flashlight--you'll carry it with you as you research the dark places, bringing light wherever you shine it....so there will be no dark getting on you. Hope that makes sense.
    Rejoicing, praying.
    xxoo

    ReplyDelete
  4. What you are writing Jen is super important...the world needs you to loving light up this darkness and this sin that so easily entangles. Hugs to you and prayers!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Stop watching porn!

    http://makingandtaking.com/5-reasons-quit-watching-internet-porn/

    ReplyDelete
  6. Don't you love it when encouragement comes, in whatever form? Also enjoyed your pedicure story. Taking care of ourselves can often make all the difference. Thank YOU for that encouragement!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, my word, after the first sentence I was undone. Why does parenting have to be so hard? I am glad you asked that because today I had decided that I am far too messed up and come from too dysfunctional a family background to have any good to pass on to my children. We had a horrible day. I cried. And then I thought: "well, if that is true, then what do I do now with the two kids God entrusted me with?" Anyway, it's a long story but that is to say that parenting is hard and I'm glad I'm not the only one who cries over it. Thank you for the encouragement :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dear Jenn
    Oh, this encourages me! It has always blessed me so much when I was lost in my "darkest" sins, that Jesus never ever pulled-up His nose for a prostitute, so with Him there was so much hope for me!
    Luv XX
    Mia

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sounds like a very draining book. May God bless you in the work you're doing and make your burdens light...and may He keep showing up when you need Him most. Bless you!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sounds like a very draining book. May God bless you in the work you're doing and make your burdens light...and may He keep showing up when you need Him most. Bless you!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I think God is so good, when we are struggling to give us gifts of encouragement in areas He is absolutely leading us and using us in! He does this also with my writing, and it reminds me that when I feel most ineffective and useless as a parent, or whatever (often as a mom) that He sends a gift of encouragement through my writing life. Hugs, Jen! May God continue to lead you through the dark trenches into His glorious light! He is able, and He will finish what He started in You and what He is doing through you!

    ReplyDelete
  12. He always catches us at our breaking point doesn't He! It's amazing how He'll use anyone or anything He pleases to bring us encouragement! Always reminding us that He.is.mindful.of.us! Praying for your strength and success as you write your story my friend!! xoxo

    ReplyDelete

Don't go yet! Leave me a note with your thoughts.