FUN! For a large number of you, you might think this word is very easy. Or at least, a word to look forward to on a daily basis. At the sound of FUN!, your eyes might start to glimmer with excitement and expectation. You might slip into a child-like state filled with wonder.
Not me. I'm panicking. And while I might be in the minority, I do know there are others of you out there that are like me. After my One Word post on Monday, I got this email from a friend:
"I think your word FUN is great for 2014…Mine is PLAY, which I often forget to do in the midst of getting one more thing done. I too would much rather work, I really didn’t know anyone else was like that. Working is safe, you can see tangible results."
Here's the thing: I know how to have fun at planned "fun" outings. I can laugh, tell funny stories, dress up like a pirate on theme night with my nieces and kids. I can dance in the kitchen to Frozen's "Let It Go" while my kids are eating breakfast. I know how to be fun at the appropriately designated times.
But I have a hard time letting fun in on a daily basis -- a fun that fuels me, that allows me to experience respite from the daily demands of life. I am a work first, play later, where the playing doesn't happen often because the work never seems to get all done, kind of girl. I don't often allocate many brain cells to thinking of fun things to do. Never in a million years, would I have dreamed up something like this. A doughnut tour? I stand amazed at the brain who came up with that one.
What I'm sensing from God is that He wants me not only to have fun, but to have spontaneous, seemingly pointless fun. Fun that happens outside the designated time and place.
But this is risky for me. Because if I add in the fun, I risk not getting the work done. And I really like to be on the ball, on top of things, ahead of the game.
Because it's there I find my security. And if I'm honest, a little bit of my self-worth. Who wants to risk security and self-worth? Not me.
But God, He wants me to risk it. For obvious reasons. And, He's gone ahead and taken me seriously about this One Word. And He expects me to listen and participate when He puts fun ideas in my head. His idea yesterday? Go get a pedicure. Here's how our conversation went:
The scene, Tuesday. I'm sitting in my chair, doing my morning devotions in the noon hour. I'm exhausted from a busy weekend, bible study and a hospital visit on Monday, a husband out of town, children who weren't cooperating, and a meeting that morning. My plan is to work, get ahead, power through until it's time to pick up the kids from school. Suddenly, God interrupts my plan.
God: Go get a pedicure.
Me: No. I have too much work to do.
God: Go get a pedicure.
Me: No. I'll go get one on Thursday, after I've caught up on my work.
God: Go get a pedicure today. You always put off fun. You need this. Your word is FUN! This is something fun for you.
Me: I don't have the money.
God: Yes, you do. Go get a pedicure.
I try to ignore Him and I am not successful, but I don't move from my chair. My computer stays poised on my lap. And then, my mind flashes back to the night before when I couldn't wait for the kids to go to bed (re: I was impatient and yelling) because I had nothing left in my tank.
God: Do you want tonight to be a repeat of last night?
Me: I shake my head "no." I call the nail salon. Of course, they can get me right in. Of course.
I take myself to the salon. I don't look at my phone the entire time I'm in the chair. At one point, I actually close my eyes and focus on the massage. I soak up all this glorious fun and by the end, I feel restored. Funny, God was right. I really needed that.
However, I didn't realize just how much I needed that until 8:45pm when my youngest was having an 8 year-old meltdown and I had to keep it together. And not only did I just need to keep it together, I needed to have access to Wisdom because after all the outlandish tears had finally subsided, she shared what had been bottled up in her little heart -- the hurts, the confusion, the fear -- she had been stuffing in for a few week's time.
I hate to think what I would have been like had I not risked getting things done in order to have a little bit of fun. But in a short summation, I could have worked, but I would have risked my daughter's heart.
And there is no contest between those two things. Glory be to God that things like pedicures matter to Him.
Linking with Linking up with Amy for #riskrejection. And also with Emily for Imperfect Prose, Jennifer Lee for #tellHisstory, Michell for DYWW, Women to Women , Sharita for Everyday Jesus, and Lyli for Thought Provoking Thursday.
photo credit: melloveschallah via photopin cc